F.A.R.T. E.D. (Foundation of Anomalous Research and Theorising, Education Department)

Moto: Cogito ergo PEPĒDĪ.

Housed in a building that occasionally rearranges its floor plan, F.A.R.T. E.D. is the pedagogical arm of our institution, dedicated to corrupting impressionable minds with theories that should never leave the lab.

Established after several complaints that staff were “making things up as they went along,” our Education Department formalises the transmission of nonsensical knowledge through rigorous academic frameworks. Our curriculum features distinguished courses such as “Introductory Biscuit Dynamics,” “Advanced Theoretical Tea Studies,” and the ever-popular “Statistical Manipulation for Beginners.”

Lectures are conducted in rooms equipped with reality anchors and emergency biscuit dispensers. Our state-of-the-art teaching laboratories come complete with quantum-stabilised blackboards that retain information across multiple dimensions. Students are advised to take notes anyway, as concepts may shift between realities during particularly enthusiastic lectures.

According to department head Connie Jecture, the department’s graduation rate is “approximately 87%, though that depends entirely on how one defines ‘graduation’. “

Our prestigious Certificate in Advanced Theoretical Nonsense (CATN) remains highly sought after by those seeking careers in untapped fields.

Prospective students should note that all exams may include questions from parallel timelines. Tea-dunking proficiency is assessed continuously throughout all modules.